I think I can now talk about it. On October 3 I had the horror able task of putting my 15 year old cat Freddie to sleep. He had a jaw disease that got to the point of no return. He was unable to eat. I had been blinder-ing his food for months and we had just reach the point were that wasn’t going to be enough anymore. So I and my mom drove him to the vet and cried. I still get a little teary when I think about him. He put up a brilliant fight but we all knew our time on this earth together was over. As soon as I was getting to the point of accepting Freddie’s death. Lucky my dog of 7 year that I raised form a puppy began not breathing right. He was having to fight for air. I took him to the vet to find out that they didn’t know what was going on since it could be any number of things. I was told to take him home and to see if he could make it through the night. I spent a very sleepless night watching him. When I did sleep I would wake up in a jolt and start calling for Lucky. He made it through the night. I took him in. A different vet saw him this time, she said that he was collecting liquid in his lungs. A very bad sign. She was going to give him antibiotics, she didn’t want to give him a diuretic since he was 60% dehydrated. I took him home with the medicine and gave him one once we got home. I sat in my chair and cried at the thought of losing him. He was my best friend, we sang together, we drove around and he would bark at the people walking the park, I would give him tastes of my food and I couldn’t sleep until he was in the bed snuggled by my leg. The phone rang and I saw that it was the vet so I answered it. She said that she had done a bit of research about Lucky and wanted to give him the diuretic. So I got into the car with Lucky in tow to get the medicine. When I got there she was there to look at Lucky. She looked at Lucky and then patted my on the back( I must have looked terrible not having had but 2-3 hrs sleep and I was near tears the whole day). I took Lucky home and reluctantly gave him the meds. At about 5 my mom came and picked us up to go get something to eat. At about 5:30 Lucky, in the backseat, couldn’t stand on his own. He stumbled and I caught him. The diuretic had kicked in. I knew in my heart I shouldn’t have given it to him and I still today have guilt about it. I couldn’t take him to the vet since they closed at 6 and by this time that had past. So we took him to an after hours vet. They took him away from me to a back room and tried to get a needle in him. It was taking so long that I had my mom see what was going on. They told her that they were working on him and that they would get us when he was ready. We waited a little longer and I had had it. I went back there and asked what was going on. Then I saw that they had punched him in one arm four times! That was enough. I told the vet ( who thought I ,my mom and my dog were so important that he was playing on his cell phone when I was talking to him!) that was back there at this time that I was taking my dog somewhere else. I took my Lucky in my arms and told him the I was sorry for that. My mom called my vet and told him about what was going on. He told her to go to the guys that we had just been to. She started to cry uncontrollably and told him what we had just been through. He said he didn’t want to put us through that again and to meet him over at the office. So we drove over there and waited on him. I was holding Lucky, who was growing colder by the minute, his breathing was labored and I knew I didn’t have long. I kissed him on the head over and over again so that I could remember him and how he felt. He couldn’t at this time hold up in his own weight. The vet arrived and we walking in. I put Lucky on the table and the vet weighted him. 15 pounds. He got a needle ready and tried to get it in one of his hind legs. He couldn’t. So he had to go and get another one ready. He put this one in his front leg. It went in. I held Lucky’s head ad the vet put the medicine in. I took about 5 seconds and Lucky was gone. I couldn’t put him head down I wanted to just hold him some more. I finally did and we thanked to the vet and left in tears. We couldn’t believe that in two days we when from a healthy dog to losing him. The vet said that he thought that Lucky had had a heart condition from birth and that it just broke and he collected fluid into his lungs. I still get teary thinking about him and what he had to go through. I can’t help feeling a bit responsible for it. I lost Lucky on October 10th 2006.